We all go through life striving to be the best versions of ourselves. I have grown to learn the most through observation and wisdom being passed down to me. The one thing I have become cognizant of is self awareness, my intuition, and the internal mindset of making my dreams a reality and how it has strengthened the foundation of me only competing with myself. I will tell you what I mean by that...Growing up being the youngest amongst my siblings and one of the younger cousins in my huge family, I have been able to see and hear so many trials and tribulations from my family's experiences in life. From choosing a career path, saving money, dating, traveling, independence, and my identity. Coming from a pretty traditional, old-school, and immigrant household, it's not easy trying to live your life and that of the expectations of your parents...oh yeah, and aunts...uncles... your cultural community....and so on. Amongst all this noise, I have realized as I get older, the varying degrees of authentically being myself unapologetically. Because in the end the cost of an inauthentic life is what? A life to look back on and feel regret? Gosh no...
The main thing you have to ask yourself is, what do you want out of life? What mask are you showing everyone that needs to be thrown away? What does happiness or success really mean to you?
If you start out by thinking "well the neighbors grass was nice and green this morning and their house is so perfect," or you open Instagram to keep up with the Jones' new car, engagement, or epic travel pictures to answer the questions, than you already lost! You want to know why? Because you are looking at an unrealistic representation of success or happiness from someone else's life instead of looking inside yourself for the answer. You don't know what peeks or valleys your neighbor has gone through to afford that expensive fertilizer or landscaper to beautify their home. Who knows, maybe they are struggling and want to project an image or they simply don't know how to conserve water. The point of my story here is, for each community, each household, and each individual, we all have a vision for our own lives. You aren't living authentic by comparing yourself to someone who is sharing their success and happiness, and thinking you need to do the same to gain the same happiness or praise they are getting. That's not the way life goes, nor will it ever be in your favor with that mindset.
In reality, sometimes we meet the milestones we set for ourselves and it ends up being unfulfilling or sometimes we just don't know what the next move will be! Trust and believe, everyone will or has had this type of experience. Yes, it can be depressing, heartbreaking, and upsetting but it's life! Not everything goes according to our "plans." Accepting this is important because it creates humility in letting go and accepting your journey without comparing your looks or life experiences with someone else's. It helps you appreciate the present and the hardships to truly appreciate the rewards down the line. You also develop a sense of admiration and appreciation for others instead of jealousy. Yup I said it, jealousy! All this comparison behavior can go from harmless admiration, to "why him," "why her," "I hate this about myself," "I hate that about my life." Jealousy can spiral into a horrible internal battle. How can you be a supportive friend, parent, spouse, or sibling, if you have an unhealthy festering emotion within yourself? Do you know what it can turn into if you don't look in the mirror and become self aware? Depression. Unhealthy relationships with others and yourself. Lack of motivation. Bodily disfunction. Whether you want to admit it, we have all experienced one or more of those phases in life. So whats the one, two, three solution to #winning in your own lane? In all honesty, the solution lies within you. You are the one that is going to have to see yourself, and want to make the change because you are living YOUR life!I reflect on... what do I want out of my present because I cant change my past? What do I want out of my future? How am I going to get there by utilizing the resources around me and having faith in the things I cant control? Here are a few tips to stay focused on being the best versions of yourself, creating the life you want, and humbly respecting the journey of others:
Asking yourself what tangible AND intangible things make you happy?
Going hiking for some fresh air, cooking, getting your hair done, working out, buying that car
you have been saving for, starting that art class or traveling! These are great things you can enjoy alone or with other people! Do whatever your heart desires for yourself, no matter what other people think! The first thing to unveil within yourself is your own happiness, your confidence, and lift up your spirits!Be joyful in hope, patient in your afflictions, and prayerful in faith. Romans 12:12
I have this passage written on my wall because no matter what goals or aspirations I set out for, I have to appreciate the beauty in the pain. The beauty in the journey. When you live a life of gratitude, you begin to see life differently. Your focus and energy begins to shift towards the positive aspects of life instead of just on the negative. You will begin to regain the power and potential to cultivate the things you want! As well as slowing down to become more present, patient, and trusting of your journey.
Vision Board
I am a firm believer in speaking things into existence! Speak it. Write it. Draw it. Visualize it. Vision boards are amazing pieces to remind you of the hard work you are doing to better yourself for your future, and keeping your eye on the prize! When you have something
tangible to remind you everyday to either put aside extra time to work on your start up after school or work, hit the gym, finish a summer reading list, save for a house or trip, enriching virtues of yourself and/or future spouse, etc, those blessings will begin to chase YOU down! Create with intention and purpose.Surrender
Tho this may sound counterintuitive, trust me, surrender. Surrender your ideas of how your life needs to be, how your relationship is suppose to be, when that job will come, the time table of your life. Surrender. Surrender. Surrender. Like I previously stated, let all your convictions be rooted in faith that all will be abundantly given at the right time and the right place. Surrender your attachment and need for control! Live in the present, and celebrate your small wins each day, week, or month. When you detach yourself from worrying, obsessing, rethinking, and analyzing, you're freeing your mind and energy to prosper in other areas of your life. What you strongly believe and desire will happen, but don't rush it, enjoy the journey. Let the law of attraction play its course. It always finds you in the end.
Me. Myself. And I.
No need for explaining. It's you against the world baby! Who is going to go out and get it for you? No one. YOU are your competition.
YOUR previous semester grades. Level up...
YOUR last summer body. Level up...
YOUR last shitty job. Or current.. Level up...
YOUR comfy yet non entertainable studio. Level up...
YOUR high school diploma. Level up...
YOUR tax bracket. Level up...
YOUR lack of artistic outlet. Level up...
Level up...Level up...Level up...
Go Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger...
You're your own competition...the other stuff isn't cute. Try making a list of what you want to improve on or goals you want to attain, and check to see if any are rooted in what other people are doing, will think or are they things that will truly make YOU happy!
Mentorship
Find a mentor! In person, via phone, via pigeon, organization, whatever! Find someone you admire that may already be in the position/mentality you see yourself in and pick their brain. Im telling you, asking for advice on LIFE is huge. SO many people in the world have lived a similar life you are going through and can help guide/maneuver you past the roadblocks they had to struggle through. There is wisdom in age and wisdom in experience. You never know too much and you are never alone in the struggle.
Be Humble.
Or sit down. #DONTdoitforthegram
Hey, sometimes we can get jealous or like the attention someone else gets. It is human nature. Be honest with yourself. Ask yourself why are you feeling that way. Check yourself.
Use the experience as inspiration. Let it go and move on...
Haters gon hate.Lastly, forget theeeeeeeem! They already established that YOU are better then them in some way, so they decide to dislike you. Instead of befriending you to rub elbows with...and level up themselves. Their loss. Usually they are the ones that aren't happy with themselves. *cough* jealousy *cough* You aren't going to be for everyone, so don't try and please everyone...know that! Live your life! However, there is a difference with constructive or objective feedback and pure negativity. Learn to discern the two. (back to point above)
Growth is quick to follow...oh....and the #wins
with love...
#selflove #confidence #selfgrowth #happiness